My Little Pony: Ranting Is Magic

[Khas 12,158]

Okay. We've all heard of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, thanks to its EXTREMELY vocal fanbase. I can't even log into deviantArt without getting piled by ponies. But how did it become this way? Let me explain in this educated rant.

It all began in either 2009 or 2010, when Lauren Faust, previously known for working on such cartoons as Dexter's Laboratory, Powerpuff Girls, and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and also known for having a beef with traditional girls' cartoons, approached Hasbro to pitch her "Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls" line, pretty much a Western version of Sailor Moon, that intended to teach girls to be themselves, that there are many ways of being feminine, and that being "girly" doesn't necessarily mean "lame". A noble goal. However, Hasbro rejected these "Galaxy Girls", but liked the message Faust was trying to get across. This was when they hired her for the 4th Generation of "My Little Pony", which would air in 2010.

Originally, everything went as planned. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic aired without a hitch, and was watched pretty much only by it's target demographic. The problems started when 4chan (surprise, surprise) got involved. Members of it's Cartoons & Comics board, /co/, to be precise. Some of them had found an article where some critic had said that MLP: FiM represented "the death of creator-driven animation", the /co/mrades decided to investigate. By a bizzare chance, they liked this new "My Little Pony" series. Despite being so far out of the target demographic range that they couldn't reach it with a TARDIS, they liked it. That's when it began to spread. To /v/ (video games). To /tg/ (traditional games). To /a/ (anime & manga) and /x/ (paranormal). And finally, to /b/. Of course. That's when the shit hit the fan. From /b/, it spread to other websites, like deviantArt and Spacebattles. It got so bad on 4chan, that moot ended up having to create /mlp/ (take a wild fucking guess) just to contain all the Bronies on 4chan. But was this the end? Oh no. No, it wasn't. They continued to spread. And they ended up proving one rule of the internet. Rule 34.

Yes, groups on deviantArt such as "MLP-Flankylicious" (dedicated to "sexy pony asses") and "MLP-Yuri" (dedicated to lesbian anime-esque porn, but eventually spreading beyond that, of MLP) started to appear. I was once tricked into seeing the second group. My reaction was this:

while this music played in my head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt4ldDExzhU

Yes, there are people who get off to cartoon ponies humping each other. And how I wish I could un-see everything I saw in the MLP-Yuri group. It's like if The Baron became a Brony.

And you know how Furries have yiff? Well, this is worse. Much worse. At least with yiff, the things fucking only have two legs. And it gets worse. At least with Furries, yiffers are just a small, but EXTREMELY vocal minority, who tend to be viewed by other Furries in the same way that Timothy Jones is viewed by ASVSers (I know a few Furries who DESPISE yiff). Well, the Bronies who like MLP-Porn form a much larger percentage of the Brony fandom then the percentage Yiffers make up the Furry Fandom, if deviantArt is anything to go by. Some have even changed the ruler of Equestria (the land that My Little Pony takes place in), Princess Celestia into Princess MOLESTia. Yes, imagine if RayCav was a female, talking, winged unicorn, who acted on his/her/its fantasies, and that's Princess Molestia in a nutshell. Some have even said that they wouldn't mind being raped by her.


Yes, they would like to be violated by a horse. That's like wanting buttsex from Mr. Ed. Are you sure The Baron isn't at least partially responsible for this mess?

Now, the characters.

First up: Twilight Sparkle.

A unicorn obsessed with pleasing Princess Celestia in her studies. Intelligent, sarcastic, and level-headed, but with multiple neuroses. All-in-all, a female, equine, stabler version of Adrian Monk. Despite the name, Stephanie Meyer had nothing to do with this character's creation. I am indifferent towards this character.

Spike.

Twilight's assistant. A baby dragon. Has a crush on Rarity. Lolwut. Once more, indifference towards this character is dominant.

Applejack.

A member of the Apple family who runs the apple farms in Ponyville. Speaks with a Tennessee drawl. Is a workaholic par excellence. Reminds me of my dad somewhat in that regard. Stubborn as hell. Once more, indifferent to this character.

Pinkie Pie.

I hate, hate, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE this character. Hate her with every fiber of my being. Why? Because she's like a singing, high-pitched, female, equine Neelix. Tries to make everyone happy, but annoys me too much. She's one one-trick pony (pun intended), and that trick got old real fast (It's basically "LOL, Random"). Take every aspect of an annoying kid sister, fuse it with Neelix, and then set that abomination loose in a musical, and you'll have Pinkie Pie. Hell, every time I see her, I want to do something like this:

Or this:

I hate Pinkie Pie. The only good thing that can possibly come from her is siccing her on Bear Paws. Because you know that would be hilarious.

Rainbow Dash.

Truth be told, I kinda like Rainbow Dash. Bold, boisterous, arrogant, and not above doing things for teh lulz, but with a kind center, Rainbow Dash would probably fit in well with ASVS. Not to mention, if DeathBattle is to be believed, she could defeat Starscream in combat.

All in all, not my favorite character in fiction, but okay. Well, by my warped standards anyway. Not to mention, she hates anything girly. That's a plus.

Rarity.

Remember that girl we all knew in high school who was obsessed with fashion? Well, that's Rarity. Only, instead of following fashion trends, she's a fashion designer. Grade-A Drama Queen. I don't like her, but I don't despise her like I do Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy.

Shy, quiet, easily scared, nature-loving girl. Opinion returns to indifference with this character. Although, I would do this to her, just, well, for teh lulz:

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to have to get my testosterone levels back up. Mike's Hard Limeade and "House of the Dead 3", here I come!

[the atom 0]

Well for fucks sake, it was 4chan all along? Godfucking dammit. If only there was a way to seal them off from the rest of the internet.

 

[Questor 501]

That's what blackholing was for, but that hasn't been used in a long time. I don't even know if the root DNS blacklist concept is even officially supported anymore.

[Tyralak 12,068]

Apparently AT&T supports the ponies too. The movement has infected Fortune 500 companies now!

 

[Khas 12,158]

[Millenniumfalsehood 11]

Newbie here, but I do feel the need to comment a bit, because I happen to represent this periphery demographic. I don't really consider myself a "brony" per se', because I own none of the merchandise and have never been to a BronyCon, but I watch the show and really do find it appealing.

 

*sigh* Yes, I like ponies. Now, with that out of the way, I would like to explain why: good characters, good stories, and good comedy, and they have a Q expy (voiced by John de Lancie). They've done a shot-for-shot homage to the end of Star Wars, they have given physicists some eye candy by having Twilight write *accurate* physics equations regarding time dilation on a blackboard in an episode revolving around time travel (which by the way referenced Dr. Who and The Terminator at the same time), the composer squeezes in music theory jokes into the show's music, they did a parody of Smaug, and they even riffed on Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. Basically, I watch it to see if I can catch all the awesome references to stuff I like and because I think that the cartoon has decent characters who go through actual character development as opposed to all those other toons with 2D cardboard cutouts that never grow or improve in any way. Plus the deadpan humor and slapstick tickle my funny bone. It ain't Big Bang Theory (oh God, no!), but it isn't bad entertainment. One more thing: the producers actually listen to the audience's opinions, even if they don't agree with them, and sometimes make changes if enough people tell them they don't like something. Just imagine if the guys in charge of Star Trek had been that way; no Akiraprise, Temporal Cold War, or Captain Janeway, people!

 

But here's the thing: I hate "cloppers" as bronies call the sexually deviant "artists" and "writers". Frankly, it makes no sense to me to take something like MLP and turn it into . . . that.

 

There are even bronies who take the fillies from the show and . . . well, I won't say it over an open forum. Use your imagination.

 

This sub-sub-culture is very embarrassing to the sane people who like the show, such as me, and as such makes it very hard to even post about this. But I felt this thread needed an opinion from someone on "the other side" as it were. We're not all like that, and certainly don't like being grouped in with those people, so please bear that in mind when talking about bronies*.

 

I mean, it's not like all people who like Star Wars and Trek are from SDN's BBS.

 

 

*not directed at anyone in this thread, btw. Just that some people insist on sticking labels on things without regard for the fact that the "things" are mostly human, and I felt like ranting a bit myself on this subject anyhow. Keep calm and carry on.

[Khas 12,158]

Well, the truth is, I can see why people watch it. And if I had a daughter, I'd rather her watch this than the insipid drivel that passes for 99% of TV shows these days. My rant was partially to explain how the show got so popular, and partially to vent about my... less than pleasant experiences... with... that... part of the fandom. Again, I'm pretty neutral when it comes to the show. Well, except for Pinkie Pie, who makes me want to re-create TDiC every time I see her.

[Tyralak 12,068]

Welcome to the board I've never actually seen the show, but I find all the hype over Bronies amusing.

[Millenniumfalsehood 11]

Thanks!

 

I hear you on "drivel". That article about the death of "creator-driven animation" was mostly right: the industry has stagnated, and only a few shows are really creative nowadays. MLP is one of them, though. I may be a fan, but I was objective enough when I saw it for the first time to know that they really give 110% when writing their stories. Preachiness is of course part and parcel of the thing, but truth be told, I've seen more preachiness from Star Trek (Insurrection and Ben Sisko, anyone?).

 

This guy on dA has his head screwed on pretty tight:

 

http://fav.me/d5adhu3

[Khas 12,158]

Bump. Howard Stern discussed Bronies:

[T'lonak 500]

My brother is a mild Brony, and I occasionally find the show somewhat enjoyably funny.

 

After seeing most of the other fans, though, my opinion on them totally disintegrated. I cannot stand the idea of a Star Trek cast, or a dark videogame being rendered as multicolored ponies - ever - let alone all that other crap. It's a better-than-the-current-average CARTOON, and should be treated as such.

[Khas 12,158]

I agree with you there. Ponification is something that I really don't like. Especially when it's done to something that really doesn't fit. For example, my favorite anime is Evangelion, which is dark, angsty, and full of blood and violence, psychoanalysis, and Judeo-Christian symbolism. And yet, I've seen the cast PONIFIED. Ponification is different from "furrification" or whatever, because there, at least, the animals they pick usually match the character's personality. Here, it's just "OMG MUST PONIFY CHARACTER!!!1111one".

[T'lonak 500]

That's exactly how I feel about it. Ponyfication should be limited to things that are "cute" or "funny", and therefore fit to be ponyfied. A pony version of the Unicorn Gundam is simply... odd. And in a way, it is also disrespectful.

[Tyralak 12,068]

That's exactly how I feel about it. Ponyfication should be limited to things that are "cute" or "funny"' date=' and therefore fit to be ponyfied. A pony version of the Unicorn Gundam is simply... odd. And in a way, it is also disrespectful. [/quote']

 

And not to mention creepy as hell.

[Khas 12,158]

Then you would absolutely despise "The Conversion Bureau". Well, more than most sane people.

[Ado Mortumee 500]

Bah! And this is why you all shall become peons in my new world order. You are weak. And Evil Overlords must be strong!

 

Being (99%) serious now, I’ve been studying this damn Pony Memetic Virus ever since it infected me and I still can’t figure out how it successfully created two decent Fallout/MLP:FiM fusion Fanfics (which combined are over 1.6 million words. HOW! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN AND BE TURN OUT TO BE GOOD!). Or the artwork. While I’ve only seen a very small amount of ponified Vs. non-ponified artwork (possibly my sample size is smaller than most due to still being stuck on dial-up and therefore virtually everything taking forever to load and the ponified artwork is a far larger percentage than I believe it to be) most of the ponified stuff has never bothered or impressed me.

 

Fucking Memetic Viruses messing my mind up. At least I've mostly managed to twist it to my will...

 

And now I remember what I was going to do today! Time to introduce the TBC-verse to the magic of orbital bombardment.*

 

*The “magic of orbital bombardment” line is actually from one of the first Terminals in the 1995 FPS Marathon 2: Durandal. This is obviously proof that at least one person at Bungie had access to a time machine.

[T'lonak 500]

Then you would absolutely despise "The Conversion Bureau". Well, more than most sane people.

 

 

I'll never look at it, just to keep my sanity.