Darth Fanboy

MEANWHILE...IN A SECRET MEETING IN THE CAPITAL CITY OF ULTIMA "Report Colonel" "Yes Honoured Commissar. The smugglers we hired in Neon Simian are set to begin distributing the packages troughout Chinaupmyassistan. Some fifty million flyers with the promise of ten million Go To Hell China Dollas in exchange for vital intelligence on the Politburo's dealings. Are we sure that ten million GTHCDs isn't too much?" "Ten Million in their currency is roughly 14 Imperial Credits." the Commissar snickered. "My nephew makes more money mowing lawns in a given week than their upper class." "I see. Also, The 1337 5p34kian hackers have begun getting information through their government censoring of the internet." "Useful, but ultimately pointless what with how restricted computer access is, let alone connection to any network. Hell even their government headquarters runs on external 56K modems donated by foreign schools who stopped using them in the late 1990s. Did we get approval for the other project?" "Yes sir, the budget office is allowing us to purchase as much of as many basic food staples as necessary to wreak havoc on the Chinaupmyassistanese food supply. We will have our soup kitchens and military reserves in this country stocked for several years, should we authorize the excess to go to needy nations?" "Let the Nigmans have what they want, then just dump the rest in the ocean. We'll show those Opressed Commies who is boss yet!"

Headlines: -Lillputian Protestors executed for slanderous remarks regarding Imperial "Lunar Based Energy Projection Device". The corpses were executed again for illegally entering the country. The remains were incinerated for violating litter laws. The ashes were dumped into a local sewage plant for violation of air quality laws. -Foreigners from the nation of Angry College Students were deported today minus several vital organs as a result of a plan to steal a merchant's shipment of textbooks, condoms, and ramen noodles bound for that nation. -The Eddy Nigman reality TV show "Meet the 80317284206's was the second most popular new program on cable, trailing only the "Huge Titty Oil Up Hour" on the Fornication Universal Channel. -Former Separatists in the nation of 1337 5p34k are being granted political pardons on the condition they recieve a hemispherectomy.

Reality TV filmed in your country has recently become very popular over here.

No way. Mrs. Smith is one of the finest MILFs in the Imperial Armed Forces, she even had a special stop-loss order named after her by top admirals and generals seeking to retain our military's eye candy.

The Empire of Eizen is pleased to announce that the official annexation and conquests in the lands of 1337 5p34k and Neon Simian have been finalized, the Vassal States will now appear on your regional maps.

DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CITIZEN, PART THE FIRST! "Hi honey how was work today?" "Phbbbt not that it fucking matters, not like i'm taking home any of it. Remember back in the days when we got to keep ten percent of our paychecks? Those were the DAYS." "Awww, well if it makes you feel any better the nieghbors are having another one of their Lubed Up All Out Leather Flesh and Pleasure Sex Romps." "Which neighbors, the Joneses or the Smiths? BEcause I swear if i'm plowing some broad on the concrete floor in Ted Jones garage I swear..." "Its the Smiths dear." "Oh...his wife is hot." "Careful hon, she's still a comissioned officer for the Army." "Oh yeah? What's she do, tit patrol?" "Nope, Military Police." "Oh shit, she's probably a vicious domme." "Yeah, works a mean dildo too." "That's for...wait what?"

The Sovereign Empire of Eizen “OUR DESTINY IS CLEAR†Category: Iron Fist Consumerists Civil Rights: Few Economy: Strong Political Freedoms: Rare Location: ASVS Regional Influence: Handshaker The Sovereign Empire of Eizen is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Eizen III with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.226 billion are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources." There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Defence, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and the Environment receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 58%, and even higher for the wealthy. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining industry, followed by Arms Manufacturing and Automobile Manufacturing. Hospitals are amongst the best-funded in the region, police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races, people caught mistreating Eizen's flag generally wind up in a great deal of pain, and a spate of enforced closures has left 'Government FM' as the nation's only radio station. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Eizen's national animal is the Rancor, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Imperial Credit. Eizen is ranked 1st in the region and 1,923rd in the world for Largest Retail Sector.