Jump to content
News Ticker
  • IPB version 4.2 installed!

Tyralak

Emperor
  • Content Count

    3,951
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    32

Posts posted by Tyralak


  1. <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>Now I'm even more confused.</div></div>

     

     

     

    Blackfoot's Dick was a (rather offensive) parody sock puppet account I created at Troll Kingdom to lampoon another poster who went by the name "Blackfoot".


  2. <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'><p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>You do realize that gambling is a tax on people with poor math skills, don't you?  grin.gif</div></div>

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Ouch! :'(

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    You do realize I have poor math skills, don't you?</div></div>

     

     

     

    grin.gif


  3. <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>Now all we need is Transcend, Elim, Paul H. Jacques jr and TOWNMNBS, then the world ends. smile.gif</div></div>

     

     

     

    Believe it or not, I wouldn't mind having some of those people back. Especially Paul H. Jacques jr. and Elim. Hell, even Timmy would be fun. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them showed up at some point.


  4.     Once upon a time, Little Robbie was bored while waiting for his

     

    mommy to get home from work. So he decided to see what was in mommy's

     

    "special" cupboard. Although his mommy warned him to never get into it,

     

    his curiosity got he best of him. He opened the cupboard and saw many

     

    unusual things he had never seen before. There were stacks of magazines

     

    with people playing together and doing lots of silly things. They were

     

    dressed funny, and some were wearing no clothes at all. One magazine was

     

    called "The Baron's Barnyard Bonanza" It had people playing the same

     

    silly games with sheep, horses and sometimes porcupines. He thought this

     

    was all very odd, and so went on to the other items in the cupboard.

     

    Here he saw a dozen different toy spaceships that vibrated when

     

    you turned the base. Some were smooth, some had bumps and ridges, some

     

    even had spikes. "Wow" little Robbie thought. "A whole fleet of toy

     

    spaceships. No wonder this is mommy's "special" cupboard."

     

        Then he found the biggest treasure of all. A large bag of white

     

    rock candy. "Oh boy oh boy!" shouted little Robbie with glee as he tore

     

    into the bag. "I love candy!" He gobbled down the whole bag in no time

     

    flat. As soon as he had finished the funny rock candy, he began to feel

     

    very odd. His thoughts started racing, and he thought he had seen many

     

    strange things. He suddenly had the urge to play some of those silly

     

    games he saw in those magazines with his dog, Rover. "Here, Rover!" he

     

    called, as he stumbled outside. The sky was a funny green color, and

     

    everything smelled very strange indeed. When Rover finnaly showed up, he

     

    wasn't the least bit interested in playing any of those silly games, so

     

    Robbie decided he was going to play weather he liked it or not. He

     

    sneaked up behind Rover and clubbed him over the head with a stick.

     

    After he was done playing with Rover, he dragged his body to the

     

    dumpster and shoved him in.

     

        Then Robbie headed back to the house to play with some of those

     

    neat little spaceships. When he was halfway down the path, a large

     

    Jackalope bounded up to him. "Howdy, there Robbie!" The Jackalope said

     

    in a squeaky voice. A voice alltogether too small for such a large

     

    Jackalope. "What can I do for you, Mr. Jackalope?" Said Robbie with a

     

    grin. "Well, little Robbie. I have a deal for you!" Replied the

     

    Jackalope. "What is it, Mr. Jackalope?" asked Robbie, genuinly curious.

     

    "Please, call me Raycav." Repied the Jackalope. "I have a package for

     

    you." "A package? For me?" Asked Robbie. "Yes indeed!" Answered the

     

    Jackalope. "What's in it?" Inquired Robbie. "Well, Little Robbie, it's a

     

    package of beans" Robbie's face took on a confused look. The Jackalope

     

    continued "A package of MAGIC beans." Now, Robbie was interested. "What

     

    do they do, Mr. Raycav?" "Well, you plant them, add some water, then

     

    watch them grow! They will grow into a tall, tall stalk that you can

     

    climb up." Raycav explained. Robbie looked amazed. "What's up at the

     

    top, Mr. Raycav?" "Your wildest dreams, young Robbie. Anything you

     

    wish." The Jackalope said with a grin. Then he added "But first, you

     

    have to do something for me." "Anything, Mr. Raycav" He said excitedly.

     

    The Jackalope walked closer and rubbed his paws together and whispered.

     

    "You have two competitors to your family farm, don't you, Robbie?" "Yes

     

    sir, Mr. Raycav. Mr. Strowbridge and Mr. Dice. They each have a farm on

     

    either side." "Wouldn't you like to have their farms too, little

     

    Robbie?" Asked the Jackalope conspiritorily. "Yes I would, Mr. Raycav.

     

    That would be keen!" "Here's what you do. You go to each of their

     

    houses, knock on the door, and when they answer you ask them to sell to

     

    you." Robbie looked concerned "But what if they don't want to sell, Mr.

     

    Raycav?" The Jackalope gave him a menacing grin "Then you take care of

     

    them, little Robbie." Little Robbie had never heard that strange

     

    expression before, but he somehow knew what was meant by it. "Yes sir,

     

    Mr. Raycav, I'll get right on it!" Robbie said exitedly as he ran toward

     

    Mr. Strowbridge's house.

     

        Robbie ran up the walk to Mr. Strowbridge's house, and knocked on

     

    the door. Mr. Strowbridge answered after a slight pause. "Hey! You're

     

    that Dalton kid! What the hell do you want?" Robbie stuck out his chest

     

    and said "The Jackalope told me to ask you to sell your farm to me!" Mr.

     

    Strowbridge looked very peeved "Get the hell off my farm, you snot nosed

     

    brat!" Little Robbie didn't like the way Mr. Strowbridge was talking to

     

    him. He didn't like it one bit. He felt as if a fire was burning up from

     

    within him, all the way to his head. He walked forward. "That wasn't

     

    very nice, Mr. Strowbridge." Said little Robbie, as he moved in closer.

     

    "Not very nice at all." Mr. Strowbridge was hopping mad at this point.

     

    "Nice? I'll show you nice!" He said as he raised his hand to slap Robbie. Robbie walked

     

    forward with a very strange grin on his face. "The Jackalope is not

     

    going to be happy, Mr. Strowbridge. Not happy at all." "I don't give a

     

    shit what this damn 'Jackalope' of yours thinks, you....

     

    Aggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!" Mr. Strowbridge never finished his sentence. Little

     

    Robbie plunged the icepick he had hidden in his belt, into Mr.

     

    Strowbridge's eyesocket. He then pushed him down, and pulled out the

     

    pick. He jabbed it again. Over and over again, until Mr. Strowbridge's

     

    face began to resemble his mommy's famous meatloaf. With lots of

     

    ketchup. "You shouldn't have talked that way to me, Mr Strowbridge."

     

    Robbie said while shaking his head. He wiped the blood off the pick, and

     

    shoved it back into his belt. He dragged Mr. Strowbridge into the living

     

    room, and took a log from the fireplace. It was only partially burning,

     

    so he had no trouble at all lifting it out of the hearth. He used it to

     

    light the couch on fire, then light Mr. Strowbridge's clothes. "This

     

    house will have to go." Robbie said shaking his head. "I have to make

     

    room for more pasture, if we are going to have this farm too." He walked

     

    from the house and carefully shut the door as the house began to be

     

    engulfed in flames. He hummed a litle song to himself as he walked to

     

    Mr. Dice's house. "I'm sure Mr. Dice will say yes." Said Robbie. "He was

     

    always nicer to me than mean ol' Mr. Strowbridge."

     

        He arrived at Mr. Dice's door several minutes later, and knocked.

     

    "Mr. Dice, open up! It's me, Robbie!" He said. Mr. Dice opened the door

     

    and looked at Robbie. "What can I do for you, Robbie?" He said with a

     

    smile. "The Jackalope told me to ask you to sell me your farm." Robbie

     

    said quickly. Mr. Dice looked thoughtful, and said "Now, Robbie, I just

     

    can't do that." That familiar burning sensation began to return. Robbie

     

    said ever so slowly. "I'm sorry, Mr. Dice. That's the wrong answer."

     

    Little Robbie jumped up with amazing speed and knocked Mr. Dice to the

     

    ground. Mr. Dice had almost no time to realize what had happened,

     

    because he quickly passed out as little Robbie held a Chloroform soaked

     

    hankerchief to Mr. Dice's face.

     

        Mr. Dice woke up in a haze, wondering where he was. He soon

     

    remembered, as he saw little Robbie pacing back and forth, making odd

     

    gestures with his hands, and shouting at the walls. However, little

     

    Robbie's senses were accutly tuned today, and heard the rustling of Mr.

     

    Dice waking up. He walked over to where Mr. Dice lay. "I see you woke

     

    up, Mr. Dice." Robbie said calmly. Mr. Dice then noticed he was secured

     

    to a large piece of plywood that was laying on top of his table saw.

     

    "What are you doing, Robbie!" Mr. Dice said. Robbie walked forward and

     

    said "Mr. Dice, I'm going to give you another chance to give me the

     

    right answer, because you have been so nice to me. Mr. Dice suddenly

     

    realized his prediciment, and lost his composure "Are you INSANE?! Get

     

    me off of this thing now, or I'll tell your mother, Robbie!" Robbie felt

     

    that strange burning sensation again. This time he was sweating and

     

    shaking. "Mr. Dice, you sound like Mr. Strowbridge!" Robbie said, his

     

    voice trembling. "I didn't LIKE Mr. Strowbridge! He made me very angry!

     

    He talked to me like that!" He had a vacant look in his eye as he

     

    reached for the on button. "You won't give me the right answer! The

     

    Jackalope was right! I'm going to have to take care of you too!" Robbie

     

    screamed as he turned on the saw, and pushed the plywood toward the

     

    spinning blade. "Robbie! Don't!" Said Mr. Dice in horror as Robbie

     

    rammed the plywood further into the blade. "Robbie

     

    dooonnnaaAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was too late for Mr. Dice,

     

    Robbie thought to himself. He should have known better. The blade bent

     

    and stopped about halfway through. "Oh, fiddlesticks!" Robbie said, as

     

    he looked down in frustration. Well, the deed was done, nonetheless.

     

    Robbie started humming again as he reached for a nearby can of gasoline,

     

    and poured it all over Mr. Dice and the rest of the workshop. He struck

     

    a match, and threw it on to the saw table. He walked out, and carefully

     

    shut the door. Soon enough Mr. Dice's workshop and house too were

     

    engulfed in flames. "More room for me. More room for me." Robbie chanted

     

    to himself as he skipped down the path toward his house.

     

        He saw the Jackalope waiting for him. "Mr. Raycav! I did what you

     

    told me to!" "Very good, little Robbie!" The Jackalope replied. "I saw

     

    what a good job you did. You really earned this." He said as he dropped

     

    the bag of beans in Robbie's hand. "Now all you have to do is plant

     

    those, add some water, and you'll have everything you could ever want!"

     

    Said the Jackalope as he started hopping away. "Where are you going, Mr.

     

    Raycav?" Robbie asked. "My work here is done. I'm going off to find

     

    other little boys to play with." The Jackalope said. "So long, Mr.

     

    Raycav! Thank you!" Shouted Robbie.

     

        Robbie went into his front yard, dug a small hole and dropped in

     

    the magic beans. He grabbed a watering can and began to water the beans.

     

    Almost instantly a huge beanstalk sprang up in front of his eyes.

     

    "Wow!" He exclaimed. Robbie started to climb the beanstalk as fast as

     

    his little legs could carry them. He was feeling unusually strong today,

     

    and made it up in no time. He looked around and saw a field of clouds

     

    with a castle in the distance. He ran toward the castle, and banged on

     

    the gate when he got there. The gate opened up, and he walked toward the

     

    entrance.

     

        When he got there, he banged and banged at the door. Nobody

     

    answered, so he pushed it open. He sniffed the air. "I know that

     

    smell!" Robbie said excitedly. "DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He ran up to

     

    a giant table filled with donuts of all kinds. And at the top of it all

     

    was a hen that seemed to be laying the donuts instead of laying eggs! He

     

    immediately started eating everything in sight. Just when he thought he

     

    couldn't eat any more, he heard a THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! Robbie looked

     

    around, and saw the biggest man he had ever seen walk around the corner

     

    and stop. The giant looked around and sniffed the air. "FEE FI FO FUM! I

     

    SMELL THE BLOOD OF A DAL-TON!" Robbie hid behind an apple fritter. The

     

    giant walked around still talking loudly. "BE HE ALIVE OR BE HE DEAD,

     

    I'LL GRIND HIS BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!" Robbie felt that funny burning

     

    sensation again, this time the shaking and nausea were worse. "He sounds

     

    like Mr. Strowbridge!" He mutered to himself. "I have to take care of

     

    him!" Robbie stealthily climbed down from the table, and found a roll of

     

    twine in the corner. He ran quickly around the legs of the giant who was

     

    standing still at the moment, and wrapped the twine around and around.

     

    Then he tied it in a knot. Little Robbie then ran toward the door

     

    yelling "I'm here, Mr. Giant! Come get me!" The giant turned around "NO

     

    ONE GETS AWAY FROM WEEMADANDO THE GIANT!" He roared as he tried to run.

     

    That's as far as he got, because he tumbled to the floor and knocked

     

    himself unconcious. Little Robbie ran up to him, and noticed he was

     

    still breathing. "No, no this will never do! What if he wakes up? I have

     

    to take care of him!" He ran into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and began

     

    cutting the pants off of the giant. Then Robbie grabbed some twine and

     

    headed to the other side of the house where he found several sticks of

     

    dynamite. He dragged them back one by one and shoved them into the rear

     

    end of the fallen giant. Robbie lit the fuse on the dynamyte, and ran

     

    back up the table where he took the donut laying chicken. He ran for the

     

    door, but he had badly misjudged the length of the fuse. The dynamite

     

    went off before he had time to reach the door. The explosion threw him

     

    back toward the beanstalk. He tried to grab a branch, but to no avail.

     

    He began falling and falling.

     

        When the nice men from the fire deparment got there, they found a

     

    very strange sight indeed. Two farmhouses burned, with their occupents

     

    badly mutilated, and a little boy fallen from the top of the tallest oak

     

    tree in the yard. The funniest thing of all was the satisfied smile on

     

    the face of the dead boy. There was no sign of the nice old Jackalope,

     

    Raycav. The firemen had never seen anything like it. It was indeed a

     

    very unusual day.

     

     

     

                                The End


  5. <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>Wow. You people have really been out of touch with the versus debating scene a while, haven't you?</div></div>

     

     

     

    To a degree. However, certain conclusions have been based on misconceptions and downright falsehoods. Often times other things have been built on top of those wrong conclusions. I'm kind of going back to the basics on some things, and re-examining assumptions.

     

     

     

    <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>The main point of contention right now is whether blasters bolts explode upon contact or just transmit energy via good old fashioned light... that's somehow slowed down to less then c.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Warsies generally want it to be the latter, since that means you can calculate yield based on the recoil of weapons and the physical impact they impart. Sane people generally point out that a bolt being pure light is crazy both from a physics standpoint (given that they don't travel at c) and that it doesn't fit the visuals, which actually do show explosions at the target.</div></div>

     

     

     

    This is actually interesting, considering the lengths to which the Warsies went to proving that Turbolasers and Blasters were not lasers.


  6. <p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'><p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'><p class='citation'>Quote</p><div class="blockquote"><div class='quote'>Plus SW weapons are not frequency based which ST weapons are.</div></div>

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Nikola Tesla would disagree with you. After he was done laughing, of course. wink.gif</div></div>

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    True but we're not dealing with reality now are we?</div></div>

     

     

     

    Now this is the tack the Disciples of Wong use often. They obsess over calculations and real life physics, until it disagrees with them. Then they fall back on the "well it's a made up universe" argument. That's essentially conceding defeat.

×