Airlocke

Nope. IIRC, that was the first thread he posted in, here. The Sd vs. Ent one, that is. I'll have to check. How would you know, anyway? You weren't even here yet.

My favorite was his original suggestion of the Main deflector dish being a superweapon, in the "Enterprise vs. Star Destroyer" thread, like a year ago. That was back when I was still debating. Good times.

HEY!!!!!!! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH BLACKIE CHAN?

Hm......So it wasn't THAT bad? I can certainly live with those corrections. I will apply them, in a bit. I noticed you didn't really touch anything besides structure and typing and editing errors. Was everything else okay? I mean, did it work alright, or were there just no major mistakes? Also, just a note, most of this IS irrelevant. I had originally thought up the next bit, and added this on to give the scene a bit of context, and to hopefully add some suspense. How was the bit with Mcevly's death done? Did I effectively build suspense, or should I edit that and make it a bit less dramatic? BTW, I conceived and wrote all of this within 2 hours. I knew there were going to be issues. I had planned on editing, and rewording later. Raycav.....THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

So....... This is the first part of a short story that I, actually, just started working on. I had been looking for a way to introduce this character that I plan on using later, but I couldn't think of a good way to flesh out his background within the original story. Thus, this short story is born. Here is the first bit. Also, I know this doe snot look all that great, so far. I haven't really gotten to the meat, yet. Hopefully opinions will improve, after I post the second bit of this. There were only two possible entries or exits on the building. On the north wall stood a battered steel door, about two and half meters high, and a meter wide. It was protected by a squad of twenty armed men. On the south side, there were massive bay doors, which lead to the facility’s armory and artillery garage. There were just two armed men stationed in a shack outside of this door, presumably because anyone crazy enough to try to force entry through that end of the building would immediately run into the bulk of the compound’s forces. “Well, it’s jus’ as Mac said, innit?” asked Mcelvy, as he set the binoculars aside. “Sealed up tighter’an Macy’s cooch! HAHA!” He placed one large hand on Hamilton’s back. “Gang’s gonna have one helluva time penetratin’er!” “Sir, with all due respect, kindly shut the fuck up.” The shorter, leaner soldier always felt uncomfortable discussing his girlfriend’s inclination to withhold sex, and this teasing was confirming his suspicions that he should have kept his frustrations to himself. Some people have no decency. Hamilton always had to remind himself that the world was full of selfish idiots, and that he could trust no one, with anything. It did not matter how simple the task was, they would always screw it up. “Let’s just report back to the commander. Let him know what we found.” “Sure, sure. We’ll let him know how screwed we’re gonna be when we try to raid that place. But I’ll be genrous ‘nough to let you tell ‘im. I don’t wanna be there when he starts screaming. HAHA!” Hamilton just frowned and sighed. He didn’t think he would ever understand other people. “Fuck!” the cry broke out through the night’s foggy air, like a gunshot, and everyone in the small squad creeping down the compound’s fence line froze in place. Commander Valez spun around and searched his line of men for the one who had broken their cover. It didn’t take him long to find the culprit, Mcelvy’s large frame lay sprawled on the ground, his right leg caught in a trap that the rest of the men spotted and easily avoided. Noises of men approaching from the north floated down to the invading squad of soldiers. “Sounds like a small group, maybe three or four of them.” Valez nodded his thanks to Lieutenant Inez, and motioned for his squad to fall back, and take cover on the other side of the bank skirting the fence. “Well, Mcelvy,” the commander squatted beside his doomed soldier, who was writhing around and crying with the pain from his maimed leg. “Your idiocy has cost you your damned life. So, we might as well take advantage of the situation. They won’t fire upon a wounded man. They’ll want information from you. Information you cannot give out. Here,” he punched a couple of buttons on Mcelvy’s body armor. “I have activated you self destruct. Serve us well, soldier.” A quick salute and he was gone, retreating to the bank, to wait with the rest of his men. When he had reached the bank, Valez looked to a thin, blonde-headed man to his right. “If there are any survivors after Mcelvy goes up, take ‘em out.” The sniper nodded and shouldered his rifle, and began to focus his sighting mechanism upon Mcelvy’s squirming form. “The big idiot,” he breathed. A collective sigh traveled through the group. Mcelvy was big, loud, and stupid, but there was not a braver or better soldier in their squad. He would be missed. Pain, horrible, horrible pain wracked Mcelvy’s entire body. His mind even hurt, and he was beginning to shut down. Poison….on…..spikes. That was the only possible explanation; even his heartbeat, which should be have been thumping fast enough to break the land-speed record, was slowing and beginning to shut down. Must…..not…….die. Can’t let….com..ander down. The poison was speedily accomplishing its task, and even though the enemy soldiers were almost upon him, Mcelvy did not think he would last long enough the punch the button that would end all of them, together. His heart began pumping more erratically. Thump. Thump. Thump………………Thrumthumpthumpthump……Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump……..Thump….Thump.Thump.Thumpthumpthump……………………….Thump. Mcevly had almost lost consciousness by the time the enemy soldier had reached him. It looked like there were four of them. Two stayed back. Two were standing within five feet of him. He could hear an indistinct buzzing around him, and it took a couple of seconds for him to figure out that the buzzing was coming from the soldiers. Were they….talking? He couldn’t be sure. Thump…………….Thump. His heart gave two more, big, rattling pumps, pushing toxin and pain throughout his body. Mcelvy realized that he could no longer feel his legs and lower torso. His arms and hands were very tingly and were processing his brains’ signals inaccurately. He couldn’t understand he his hand was not pushing the button on his wrist, like he was telling it to. Thump………………………………………………Thump. The buzzing stopped. One of the men pointed his rifle at Mcelvy’s chest, he never got the chance to pull the trigger. Valez and his men heard the explosion from the self-destruct mechanism in Mcelvy’s armor. The heard the secondary explosion, and felt the heat as Mcelvy’s flamethrower went up, but they did not see the resulting flash of the gas igniting. Valez had ordered everyone to shield their eyes, to protect themselves from temporary blindness. The two enemy soldiers who had waited from a distance as their comrades approached the hobbled and dying Mcelvy, had not been so lucky. When the sniper had uncovered his eyes, he found himself with two very easy shots to line up. Both men were dazed by the flash of light, and were shaking their heads to try and clear their vision. Just a couple of seconds later, both were lying on the ground, limp and dead, with holes between their eyes. The nine men quickly jumped out from behind their cover, and began to march down the fence, toward the northeast corner of the building, around which the four enemy soldiers had come. Valez nodded to the soldier at his left side, and the man produces a cube-shaped box that was 30cm by 30 cm by 30cm in size, which a lens jutting out the front. The man heaved the machine atop his shoulder, and aimed it about one hundred meter in front and to the right of the squad. After another signal from Valez, the unit spaced out, and the man with the projector hit a button on the machine’s side. Instantly, another squad of soldiers appeared, about 100 meters in front and to the right of Valez’s squad. The holographic projector left no beam of visible light between the machine and the holographic images, so it was impossible to track the source of the images. The images themselves were indistinguishable from real people, except for the suspicious lack of noise from their movements. This ploy would gain the team nothing more than a few seconds of diverted attention from enemy soldiers, but that is all that Valez and his men would need. A group of five men slipped around the corner of the building, and immediately started firing upon the holographs. The images started to crack, and waver as the hail of bullets tore through them, and the attacking soldiers realized their mistake too late. Before they could find their true targets and adjust their aim, they had been slain. Valez and his men carefully picked their way passed the corpses and stopped short of rounding the corner, bringing the holographic images to a stop Valez made a couple more signals with his hands, and his men arranged themselves around the corner in order to get the best possible firing lanes, while still maintaining some cover. Then the holographic men rounded the corner in a very wide loop, directed by the glorified soldier-photographer, and were met by a hail of bullets. Valez peeked around the corner, in the very small window afforded by the holographs’ wide looping approach, and instantly noted the positions of the enemy soldiers, easily identifiable due to the flood lights around the gate and door to the compound. A very convenient design flaw. The enemies’ rifle quieted as they realized that the men they were firing at were not the real danger, but, by that point, it was too late. Two grenades rolled up to the men’s feet, and detonated. All but two were killed in the blast, and those two wee quickly dispatched when valez and his men rounded the corner of the building, and made their charge towards the door. “Set the charges, and clear out!” Two of Valez’s men approached the door and began sticking explosives around it hinges and locks, the rest of the squad set up in good cover positions around the gate, far enough away to not be affected by the explosion, but close enough to make a speedy entrance once the door was down. The men finished setting the charges and fell back into position with the rest of the men. Valez gave the order, and the was a muffled bang, followed by a thud and crash, as the door was blown clear of its hinges and landed several feet away from the building. Two red dots, about six feet high and only two inches apart could be seen through the smoke in the wrecked doorway. There was a peal of laughter, followed by a low, dark voice. “I believe you are looking for me?”

http://www.gateworld.net/news/2010/10/syfy-axes-battlestar-galactica-prequel-caprica/ Yes, Tyralak, you may now start crying. You will have to wait for a different show to see your second favorite hottie.

I think I am going to open up a Goku vs. Palpatine thread on SBC, and see what kind of shitstorm that brings.

I have more. Many more where that came from.

D-did I just get neg-repped by JASON

INFINITY REP BOOST!!!!!

Ummmmm.........Really? They could not take superman. It wouldn't even be close. The fucking Galactic Empire would have trouble with either of these......Which actually brings up a good point......

lol

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I am going with number 2. Though, hopefully she is old enough for it not to matter. Me only being 21.

I actually think that this would be the best Star Trek episode, ever. But, really, it would end with Giordi taking Obrien's transporter away so he can seperate the baby xenos from Star Trek creman, then work would kill the fuckers. Then they would destroy the cargo ship that has all of the xenos on it. Picard would close out the episode with some monologue questioning if it was a good idea to end the parasites' lives.

They are canceling because of the lack of viewers. I don't think it has anything to do with quality.

HAHA! Praeothmin is middle-aged as well!

lol

No. That is the life expectancy of Americans. Not men in America. Believe it or not, Women live here too. Men: 74.8 Women: 81.04

I.....cannot believe that I missed that opportunity.

Well, then, you are solidly in middle-age territory. ENJOY!

Well, exact middle-age for a U.S. man is 37. So, yeah. HAHA! YOU ARE MIDDLE-AGED! (Also, in case you are a woman. A U.S. woman can expect to live to 80, meaning that exact-middle is 40. So you would be right on the cusp, there.)

Hey. The life expectancy for Men in America is omewhere around 70. You are 33. Exact "middle-age" would be 35. If you take middle-aged to be a range of years, then yes, you would likely be in that range. Ty, just accept it. You are a fucking middle-aged man!

Umm....Would you really like me to answer that?