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Tyralak

The RayCav

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This is an adaptation of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe, I call "The RayCav". It's a story of Arwin and his decent into madness after being stalked by RayCav.

 

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I beat off weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of Disney Channel lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,
As of some one gently fapping, fapping near my chamber door.
`'Tis some pervert,' I muttered, `fapping near my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Debore -
For the rare and radiant Debby whom the angels named Debore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some pervert creeping and peeping at my chamber door -
Some late pervert creeping and peeping at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came fapping,
And so faintly you came fapping, fapping near my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Debore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, ‘Debore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a fapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `someone is creeping at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately RayCav of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched near my chamber door -
Perched next to a bust of iCarly right beside my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this creepy pervert beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance he wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient RayCav wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the RayCav, `Nevermore.'

Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was stalked by creepy perverts near his chamber door -
Stalker or creep near the sculptured bust beside his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the RayCav, sitting lonely near the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the perv said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what he utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the RayCav still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of perv and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous perv of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous perv of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy Greg hath lent thee - by Debby Ryan he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Debore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Debore!'
Quoth the RayCav, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if perv or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the RayCav, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that actress we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Debore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Debore?'
Quoth the RayCav, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, perv or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust beside my door!
Take thy dick from out thy hand, and pick thy pants from off my floor!'
Quoth the RayCav, `Nevermore.'

And the RayCav, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
near the pallid bust of iCarly just beside my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

 

 

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